Honest

I was suffering from some serious troubles and eagerly looking for someone who shares my pain. I talked to all my close friends, but i found no one interested in my problems. Everyone said some motivating words and moved away. I was surprised that i have not even a single friend for such times. I myself tried to get rid of all troubles, but i was unable due to some reasons. I tried few months with all these and one day someone came in my life and i feel that my troubles are now shared and almost solved. This someone was a lady, who wants to live for life with me. I have no problem. As now relationship grows, we both have some expectations from each-other. i knowingly never did any mistakes but she felt that doing mistakes its my nature. We argue on some issues but very soon we both be easy as well. But now argument on each issue become part of daily routine. i found myself again in this undesired problem, Now i intentionally kept myself away from home. i keep staying at office late night. One day she told me to come early, this relationship was our wish so for relationship i came early and when i reached home i was really feeling nice after, because it was my B'day and there was surprised party for me. i was too happy, and i decided to makeover this relationship to a healthy relationship. After party i kissed her and thanked her for such beautiful party. She was looking very happy, it reminds us our few months earlier days. We were living together without knowledge of our families. Her father health become serious so she went to her father house to take care there. Her father's illness seems that he could die anytime, so in wait of that she stayed there for seven months. One day she told me that her father wants her to marry with his choice boy as his last wish. She accepted her wish as there was pressure from her family. She told me to forget her. I tried too much to change her mind for our future, but she was not ready to leave them for me.
I thought i had lost the reason to live. I was under depression and find myself in very unusual type of problems. Whenever i remember her, i feel myself unconscious. i found myself deeply attached with her virtual identity. i was living with that. i thought i am suffering from some psychological disorder, so i went to psychiatrist. but all tests were normal but it was hurting me. As I have no other option i have to suffer such stages. Now since that four years have been passed and still i am suffering from her virtual imagination. My family force me to marry with someone but i didn't do that. Now i feel this suffering as my true friend whenever i feel sad, i remember the time when we both were together and these suffering/ feelings took me out of this world. Due to this problem i have no relation with anyone, i am alone for entire world, but how am i for myself is known by me only. Still i am hunting myself in my dreams. So its all about dreaming, a world of fake reality and world of honest truth.