Uncanny Valley

Aimi Eguchi  a humanoid singer in AKB48 Japanese Band

After watching a number of Hollywood action movies, like Avatar, Terminator specially science friction ones, If I tell you that I have a android which can sing , dance and perform all steps with real human. Now days Japan has turned into Uncanny valley where they are just about to insert humanoid with human community.

Recently a new member joined the Japanese band AKB48. Pop blogs and a magazine cover story introduced Aimi Eguchi as a sweet 16-year-old from a Tokyo suburb. But there was something strange about this new girl. Her incandescent looks and sterling voice won Aimi instant attention and the center spot in a candy ad. Yet questions arose when she appeared in two video spots. Aimi seemed stiff and awkward – not uncomfortable, more like unnatural.

"There was a weird reaction to it," says Zac Bentz, a writer and reviewer for the online music store HearJapan.com. "Within a week or two, people were already saying, 'Well, this doesn't look right.' "

She always looked straight at the camera, shared a bizarre resemblance to other girls in the band, and had a peculiar beauty. After a few weeks, AKB48 admitted that Aimi was computer generated. They took the nose, eyebrows, hair, and lips of six band mates and digitally stitched them into a new singer.

Future Map

Till we have come to know about robots which can perform specific tasks for which they have trained. The use of Artificial intelligence was for their learning and carve their skills in specific fields. They were better in working but not intelligent as we. I have seen movie robot of Rajnikant where he succeed in emotions mapping in Robot. But if a robo can sing dance and can read our minds with the help of 3D imaging technology and brain mapping. Advance robot can map  human mind and can get idea about his/her feelings. He can map his body by 3D imaging technology. All the matter is that we are going to adopt them as we are excited to accept this new generation. Till now Japan is uncanny valley, very soon we could acknowledge that we are also a part of it.

So carve yourself and be ready to accept a humanoid among us without knowing his actual identity. Its surely be adventures but hoping not to be like resident evil series.

Its all about "India"

India, one of the most versatile country on the earth. Here you can find many cultures, many rituals, overall a complete diversity of almost everything which can exist on earth. Nature has created India a individual world. Lets talk about its political issues.

India has numbers of issues all around. Our constitution is well manageable and adoptable for new ideas and culture. Here alliance is ruling since last two decades. India have emerges in world map strongly after Kargil-war(1999). We have managed our internal policies very well, so there was nothing like inflation. After few year the whole world faced recession. Economy of all big guns of world fall down, in such conditions they were looking for some new market, where they can sell their product in reasonable rate and create employment to improve their economy. India was the biggest market where whole world can sell their all types of products. This is India where everything you can buy and sell.

In recent time we have come to know about many corruption issues. Since we have organized Common Wealth Games, Indian corruption level starts to come in picture. We have enjoyed media freedom, who have now the authority to film murder, rape etc. in their media rooms. Media has total freedom in India. But this total freedom has not been well managed by government. You can purchase any newspaper  here and will find all types of marketing from front page. You can see all hot models in supplementary pages. You can read garbage articles even in editorial pages. Its all about India, no one blames on itself. Now we are still interest of world, world has no interest in our local policies. They want such government in India which can provide them better opportunity in India for business perspective.

If we deal on local issues, we will find that numbers of demands of public. If we just take a note on issues like creation of new state is no worthy for now. It is okay for now as we have states, A state of size here in India can be managed well. Who is going to enjoy more if we divide all states, of course the direct beneficiary will be the only political leaders, who will get more opportunity to hide our money to his Swiss bank account. A common man will have to force expenses for elections and much more right way.

If we deal about reservation and inclusion of few more minorities in some special reserved groups like SC, ST, OBC. If we continue to rule this reservation system, one day everyone will be minority. The system is made for making system strong not handicap.

If we talks about government policies, they are almost dead. There is nothing new for anything. They have adopted very simple strategy- Let the things to do and after that think what have to do. In India many families have nothing to eat and at storage site anyone can find tons of gains ruined by ugly and lazy policies. LPG, Kerosene oil pricing system, The subsidy provided for these items by government have been  reduced. The taxation has been increased. Indian IT Industry is making good money for India development, but still we are lacking in money distribution among us. We have enough money to submit in Swiss bank. No one is interested to take that back home. The only reason is- “kaun sa mughe kuch milega”. Whenever an issue get public attention government just take some initiative and with time everyone forget and it seems that “now nothing can happen for this regard”. Anna, Ramdev are the latest persons who have got public attention due to some these sort of issues.

All around us, if we take a look, we came to know that we are suffering from laziness and direct-profit-policy-system. Whenever if we are about to get something we do it fast and quickly as during election time, All works in demand just finished less than expected time, but during rest time they prefer to rest. There is need of change in oneself, system will accept your change and follow you.

The World

There are mainly two types of view: Spiritual and Physical(Real world). When we think according to the surroundings and situations we can call it real world thinking. This real world thinking is good for us as it is directly related to our world: The world which we see, where we live, which we feel and plan with that. Its all about the time period which we are spending with this system: The World.

Sometimes we feel something awkward means not as per our expectations. Something happens, which force us to feel something extra. There are already existence of Astral physics and Quantum physics. If we can believe on study we can come to know that in this physical world, whatever we are doing is only meant for here. If you think so according to me you are not absolutely correct. Feeling, emotions( love, care, fear) connects us, force us to feel presence of something which can be termed something like spiritual. If we can get connected with other entities( not well known by us) within this real world, we can expect that whatever we earn here can carry with us in some form. We earn here respect, feelings for others (might be platonic love with someone). I just want to capture the issue of platonic love. The involved person want to continue this love forever. But as per the rule of this world one who has born have to die. No one is allowed to change this. How can such person can continue there love forever. Change is predefined rule of nature so nature wants to reshuffle everything (i.e. feelings and emotions as well).

I have written above paragraph for making understand that each person is equally important in this world, but for world importance differ, each has its own role. System( The world: nature) just implement its ideas and successful idea continues with new one. So as a human being if you feel you are not there, where you should be, you should try with full efforts and in your own way. If your choice is not acceptable by world then world itself take appropriate action and if it find your efforts fruitful, You will enjoy what you want to do. Last thought I want to mention that irrespective of our wishes and other related things, we should always take care of feelings and emotions of others who are currently in same frame, where you are. So its something related to what you earn here that will carry with you forever.

Full Stop.

Many of us do same sort of work like we all eat, drink and sleep. If we take a very short comparison on this, just think these

1. Food is easily available Vs No food is available.

2. Availability of drinking water etc. Vs No drinking water is available near to society.

I don't think that i need to explain this. It all understood that circumstances matter. For some persons  winning is important while for some persons even participation is enough worthy. There are a lot of things which we come to face as well as to  watch in real world, but how we tackle them and how others. The most important thing which you might consider will be the situation of scene. Some persons get help from many while some do all alone. Real life is not to be just defined by knowing the input  and output of situation. Many other considerable things must be considered. So what a person have done is important but the more important is in which circumstances he/she have done it.

Whenever we come to know some situation of someone, we easily conclude and decide what should be there. That may be sometime correct and sometime wrong. when we perceive the situations with the known behavior of that someone's situation, our predictability is more accurate rather that some blind prediction. I just want to say- please as much as you can do, never go for final decisions, just always carry that with modification allowed.

Losing something that is ours is more eventful than getting something new. i don't need to justify this statement, just do it yourself. So prediction and pre-decision making habit sometime destroy someone’s feelings and even existence. So in relations- Let time to play its role and enjoy relations instead of going for the definition of relation.

What Happened

I am fifty year old and as i came to know till now is that "life provides you at least one  opportunity to express yourself to someone or to whole world. Its up to you how much you believe on your beliefs". for expressing that i just penned down a story, just take a look.

I was walking on the road and was very exciting for my new company. In fact I was centralized around this dream. My family have always shown faith in me, and I think this is the only reason behind my success. Today all raw materials including machinery have been purchased and now I have only one plan left for today i.e. to ask my wife to go for one week tour with parents. As I was busy to start my own company I never got time for her and family. My wife(Kavita) has always supported me. I was lucky to find such wife.

As I have planned I asked her for tour, but she want to take some rest. She told me that she is not feeling well. Next day I took her to hospital and there was a very good news for me as I became father. I have no words to explain that happiness. Till today I have planned for a company and now I have to plan for my baby. Now I always felt more energetic so I have done many workouts. As I have planned for my baby I have purchased a lot of gifts and everything which I ever saw with any other baby. My wife wants a baby boy while I have no issues actually I was too excited to hold my own baby in my hands. I want to feel proud when my baby will breath in my arms, When my baby will call me “papa”. Actually I was full of dreams about my baby. Now the center of my thoughts was my baby.

Now the day comes when I become father and I was holding my son in my arms. We named him Shailendra. I was as much happy as I was never before. I want to say to my child that how much I love him. There was nothing more important except him. Kavita was more happy than me and  we find our life more beautiful than ever before.

My company was working good and in very first half yearly results we have shown very high profits and after that we have applied for some projects. For the new projects and money generation I have to attend meeting in Dehradun so I have to go. I wants to spend some more time with my baby. But this work was also important as this will affect my child future. So I leave for one month long meetings. Meeting was good and I got some good financer for my company.

When I came home just after one month, Again I got the call for some more meeting in Libya(Africa) for reviewing the project site. I went there and there I stayed more than two months. So when I was returning back to home, as I landed in INDIA back I came to know that my boy is sick so I rushed to see him . As I reached there doctor declared him dead. My wife fell down on floor and admitted to hospital. I have nothing to say for the situation in I was. I was, I don’t know what I was, where I was. Is really there I was?

After one week my wife get discharged from hospital but she has only pale face. I had never time for her and when she found me in my boy he also leave her. I can’t explain her condition as I even can’t think about her pain. I have no one to who I can show my pain. Now I have to take the control of situation. This was the only way I have to do at that time irrespective of all what happened.

Beauty of dreamz

i was thinking about the patterns, i was wishing that many similar things matter for everyone. I was in dilemma about the feelings and its way of expressing. Suddenly i remember my old friend Niharika. She was good looking and smart girl when we were of sixteen. She was too bold to handle boys, i was expecting the reason might be that many boys used to propose her regularly. I was thinking that she didn't love anyone. i was her good friends, but i always kept myself away from all her heroic acts. Some of the boys who proposed her were my good friend as well. she always told me to be away from those boys and with time she was only my friend left. But as we completed our graduation she fall in love with someone. She told me that she love Vinod khatri. Vinod was known as bad-boy "Gunda". He has too much attitude. Niharika always discuss about him to me. One day she saw him with few girls, She came to know about her relations with many girls. She felt really bad, she was feeling that she had never given any importance to anyone's feelings so she is facing this today. she encouraged herself and just thought to forgot everything. One day i saw she was crying as loud as she can, she was on the terrace of very high under-construction building. She saw me as i has seen her, she hugged me tightly. I frightened with her next move. But i was feeling something good, i realized that she is also a girl. That time she share all her inner-emotions with me. That day i came to know that as i know her since last eight years but i have never imagined her such nature. She has the one of most beautiful heart, which was full of love and lovely emotions. I found her so beautiful as i have thought about my hubby one. Since that we both become one of the best friends of world. Now we both always discuss everything, we talk on phone, on chat-server. Overall she was healing her emotions, but in that process i was just ready to hurt my emotions. Very soon i realized that i am in love with her. She told me that she was lucky that Vinod didn't came in her life because he was not his type, she always tell me that she don't know why she liked him. But here i know very well why i like her, and want to express my feeling. I tried many times to show my feelings for her but she never take any special attention on my activities. I was trying too much. One day she ringed me and told to come at her home in good dress. I thought may be she understand my activities and now want to introduce me in some other way to her parents. i reached there and saw a small gathering was there as someone was there at her home to see her. The boy was well educated MBA person and have very high earning. boy was looking very smart and simple. His voice was very affluent and affective. Boy liked her and told that he only want to know her wish. Niharika was impressed with her straight forwardness and simplicity, she said she needs some more meetings if he has no objection. Boy agreed and they meet two times after that and both agreed to marry.
i saw her first time so happy and i don't want to ruin her happiness by showing my unrequited love. She got what she deserves and now its my turn to heal my emotions. its a series of healing and hurting, this is the life. The beauty of life is not known by life itself, it depends on the bearer of that persons perceptions and actions.

Enjoy Beauty

Dead Approach for life

In some situations we are forced to take some decisions, we have to maintain some balance in all around us. We have to show ourselves as very good person. Hopefully you are not getting what I am trying to say but now read little more. Sometime when some one close to us blame us for very little things or leave us due to misunderstanding or anything else which feels us alone due to loss of one single person. There are two very nice words attachment and intimation. We show our attachments and intimation both to that person by believing on him/her and by all means to show our faith and respect in him/her.

Now that person have left you alone, you have one primarily choice to attempt again to get in touch with him/her. But after all your positive attempts to be with him/her you move to feel negative like- “I have no reason to live without him/her” or you loose confidence in yourself and due to that you lose in all your activities. Now you think always negative and due to that you might become sick (body and mental). Sometime you even don’t know the proper reason of that. You feel alone and for that you want to just be with that one who you have already lost from your life. Some people become self-centric while some become that person centric. In both situation person felt disturbed and he/she may attempt some immature actions like suicide or become solace. In both situation person tried to get out for some positive.

In these sort of situation you should be in touch with your good friends. Just share whatever you want to say to yourself. Few will show sympathy and few will make laugh of you. But in both situation you have something to think more, means you will busy in understanding the thoughts of your friends and you will try to make a common thought about yourself. So for that you will do something. As you will busy in these sort of activities, few months would have been passed and when you again remember about all those you will feel less pain and there might be something which might have the capability to change your way of approach and also there might be a complete makeover of all those bad situations. As you are now more mature and also you have come to know that what and how a person can thought about anyone’s welfare, happiness, care and everything to feel other one happy.

Keep calm and silence if you can’t think positive in worst situation and think as you are not fit for these situations (one more negative approach but final one) so just do nothing until you again get the ability to think positive.

एकाकी Life

Struggle was all around me, i got numbers of failure. I was trying too much and in result of that i got some good job. I was desperate for someone, when we show desperation for someone, we become crazy for him/her. I was away from my family, i got job and now priority has been changed, i was dreaming all time about that someone, a girl. I wanted to tell her my feelings, for that i have to come in picture. I started with her friends, she was very social and active girl. just after initiation i got a chance to be with her. I was with her for more than a week, as she was going for a tour with her colleagues and i also joined her. There i got few chances to show my emotions, but first i wanted to know her emotions regarding all these, as i was aware that she don't love me , but i was curious to know that did she love someone. There was few chit-chats and i concluded that she is not engaged with anyone. Now i start feeling her and copying her movements. i copied her favorite list to my favorite list. Now after few attempts, i get noticed by her as one day she told me that i am good in many workouts. i found my way. i keep doing according to her taste. Two years we were together and but still i haven't proposed her neither she, but we both became good friends. Few of our friends commented on us so one day i decided to propose her. We both were walking on road in evening and there i told her everything. She politely replied that she is already engaged, she never told here anyone because she and her fiance are together since their childhood, they are neighbors and their families have accepted their relationship and she will get married after his fiance return from US. She also told me not to tell this anyone. We agreed to continue our friendship same as before. but since after that when i came in front of her i feel like looser, like guilty and many other. We both reduced our outing together, i just want to keep away myself from her. I told about her fiance to my friends and that leaked to whole office. She get angered with me. i left the job and searched some other job. i was feeling alone and that leads me to some serious health issues. Any how i transferred my message to her, that i am sick hoping she might come to meet me, i was still hopeful that she might come to my life. I suffered heavy money crises due to Medical expenses. After being fit again that i joined my job and till then i came to know that i have to give some time before taking any decision. After that now three years have been passed. She got married and now shifted to US. I have desperately waited for her till now and will continue till my life. May be she came back, but now i understood the feelings that instead of being alone i should prefer  एकाकी life. And i am on my way since last one year i am fine now, but still looking for some doomsday or similar like that.

Dark corner

Somewhere Dark corners of life impact our life too much. My wife Somya has meet my past time girl-friend Rita. Both met in a fashion institute but both don't know me as a link between them. One day when i came from office, i saw both were waiting for me to go for watching cinema. As i saw Rita i was surprised and i have no option, so i go with them. Somya commented me: "aaj badi jaldi taiyaar ho gaye", and then she told her few more about me. Rita was pursuing her Fashion designing course from the same institute where Somya took some guest lectures. In cinema hall the sitting order was Me, Somya and Rita. During movie i just move my head towards Rita, she was looking at me, she smiled as i saw her. I just smiled and moved my head towards screen. During the movie time, i tried to look at her but all time i found she was looking at me. I was feared that if Rita told Somya about her past relationship. I was too much feared, Rita just got indication that i am not comfortable, so after movie she took me away from my wife saying-
Rita (to somya): Let me to check your hubby loyalty.
Somya: He is yours. you can take him.
(i was silent, so Rita hold my hand and moved little far from my wife:)
Rita (to me): Why are you reacting too much, Are you looking me first time, so be easy, okay.
Me (to Rita): Did you have told her about us.
Rita (to me): you just be okay, i am fine, i have forgotten all. i am also planning to marry with Sumeet. Do you remember him.
(Now this time i realized that a woman can forgive all your mistakes, for single happiness. Probably this is the reason why god made them beautiful.)
(Rita hold my hand and moved towards my wife and handover my hand to her hand saying "pakad ke rakhna, warna mai le udungi"). All were laughing, and after some light dinner Rita went to her hostel room.

(As rita left, i thought what i will told somya if she asked anything about her, because i not aware of what Rita has told her about us As Rita has not answered me clearly).
Somya: "badi batein kar rahe the, aaj. tumhara bhi bhagne ka irada tha kya".
Me: Thinking so.
Somya: Rita is nice girl. You know she is getting married next month and she had invited me.
Me: She is your student, so you must go.
(I drive the car and we reached home).

Next day (12:00 noon)
(my mobile rings as Somya called me. i received her call)
Somya (hard voice): Ajay, just finish your work and come early to home. (i thought she must have came to know something about me and Rita). so i quickly leave for home.
(at home)
(As i reached she gave me plain glass of water and told: "change kar lo fir baat karte hai". )
(i was too quiet, i have not asked even a single question, i just changed my dress as she ordered me).
(As i came out of bathroom she just smiled on me and when i just tried to ask she told: "Baith jao, aaram se batati hu").

Somya: Rita has called me today, she told me something about you, which you have never told me.
Me(I was like "kato to khoon nahi" means i felt that havoc has been created by Rita. i have nothing to say. i just keep my silence.): "kaun si baat" (in very light voice)
Somya: You know her already but never told me.
Me: yes, but it was past and there was no reason to talk about her.
Somya: Today she called me and told about you both.
Me: i am sorry.
Somya (smiled at me, she drag herself close to me and hug me tightly): Ajay, you are too innocent, i love you. She called me and told that you are afraid, so she told me that you both love each other during college life but you both moved to different locations after college and after then you meet yesterday. She advised me to take care of you.
Me: (nodded my head showing yes)
Somya: You can say me whatever you want to say, be sure i will never leave you, neither i will allow you to leave me. So whatever whenever you want to share anything to me, just do that. Never afraid that our relationship can ever break.
Me: thanks somya and i wrapped her around my arms.

(I felt myself the world's most luckiest husband of earth. Today i got such wife which even god has only dreamed of. )

Moral: whenever you come to know about some dark past of your close one. please don't ruin your relationship due to that past event. During whole life we grow, we witness each moment a new life. Always try to get positive of each scenario. Life is for living, hold each other in each moment of life, never think to go away from your close ones.

Honest

I was suffering from some serious troubles and eagerly looking for someone who shares my pain. I talked to all my close friends, but i found no one interested in my problems. Everyone said some motivating words and moved away. I was surprised that i have not even a single friend for such times. I myself tried to get rid of all troubles, but i was unable due to some reasons. I tried few months with all these and one day someone came in my life and i feel that my troubles are now shared and almost solved. This someone was a lady, who wants to live for life with me. I have no problem. As now relationship grows, we both have some expectations from each-other. i knowingly never did any mistakes but she felt that doing mistakes its my nature. We argue on some issues but very soon we both be easy as well. But now argument on each issue become part of daily routine. i found myself again in this undesired problem, Now i intentionally kept myself away from home. i keep staying at office late night. One day she told me to come early, this relationship was our wish so for relationship i came early and when i reached home i was really feeling nice after, because it was my B'day and there was surprised party for me. i was too happy, and i decided to makeover this relationship to a healthy relationship. After party i kissed her and thanked her for such beautiful party. She was looking very happy, it reminds us our few months earlier days. We were living together without knowledge of our families. Her father health become serious so she went to her father house to take care there. Her father's illness seems that he could die anytime, so in wait of that she stayed there for seven months. One day she told me that her father wants her to marry with his choice boy as his last wish. She accepted her wish as there was pressure from her family. She told me to forget her. I tried too much to change her mind for our future, but she was not ready to leave them for me.
I thought i had lost the reason to live. I was under depression and find myself in very unusual type of problems. Whenever i remember her, i feel myself unconscious. i found myself deeply attached with her virtual identity. i was living with that. i thought i am suffering from some psychological disorder, so i went to psychiatrist. but all tests were normal but it was hurting me. As I have no other option i have to suffer such stages. Now since that four years have been passed and still i am suffering from her virtual imagination. My family force me to marry with someone but i didn't do that. Now i feel this suffering as my true friend whenever i feel sad, i remember the time when we both were together and these suffering/ feelings took me out of this world. Due to this problem i have no relation with anyone, i am alone for entire world, but how am i for myself is known by me only. Still i am hunting myself in my dreams. So its all about dreaming, a world of fake reality and world of honest truth.

social mania- issues

Everything seems good when we discuss about growth of india, when we look at Sensex and the GDP. Irrespective of downwards movements of worlds we keep growing at some constant rate, are enough to feel us satisfied. But same when we come to know about few followings-
1. Child marriage of girl with the man age of her father. (It's a ritual in TN )
2. Khap panchayat (dark side of democracy)
3. Non realistic boundation for widow.

In TamilNadu near the Jambumadai district many district have beliefs of marrying her girl child to the man age of her father. This ritual is not comes under government law as child marriage is crime but here this is allowed. These areas are also among most cases of AIDS effected areas. I am not writing here that we should feel sorry for them, but it is the time when some of us have to come up and took an initiative. Atleast petition should be filed in supreme court by some higher authority as N.D. Tiwary has filed for not giving his blood for DNA test. Think little bit because nothing will be automatic.

Khap panchayat are made for dictatorship, for more details google it or click here.

In india there are too many laws for providing freedom to widows, but still the situation on real earth is not good. If a girl become window at early age, she had to go with the process of her new family. There should be common understanding among families that she needs some good support for her life, so she should also have the right of choosing her new partner (if she wishes). In metro cities the culture has adopted it but in rural and backward areas the situation are worst. Needed some movement like Anna hazzare did for Lokpal. it should not be against anyone, It should be for making awareness among people about this issue. Some initiative may improve the scenario.

Is this love

I was crying to marry with my classmate girl. I was in class 6 and 11 years old. One day i was fighting with my friends in class after that class teacher force me to sit with girls row, i thought after few periods i would again join my group. But all teacher told me to sit with her. She was very silent in class but it was the results when she always top the chart. I was wondered what to talk to a girl. If i keep myself quiet there, then i have to sit there always, so i decided to tease her. When i asked few childish questions, she threatened me to tell the principle. But after all these i continued to create some sort of problem for her. One day i asked about their parents and asked her view on marriage. In between such talks i asked if she had to marry with me, she goes to teacher and told that mam Ajay is asking for marriage. I was also good boy, so teacher just smiled and say nothing to me. Now onwards i joined a new person in my friends list that was she. Now we are comfortable with each other and become good friends. In month of march she told me that her father has got transferred so she will go to Dehradun for next class study. I was happy because now i can join my group again, but i also feel little disappointment as i came to know that my new group is all around her. After that we always talked about ourself, on a big bench we both sit only no other is allowed to sit with us, we quarrel all times. She always threat me with her words- "main kuch dino mei chali jaungi tab ladna mughse". 

The final exam was over and extra class for next year started after the exam. On very first day she came to college was weeping, today she was sitting with girls and i wanted to know the reason why she is not sitting with me today. But she was weeping so i didn't asked anything to her and from next day she never come again. i came to know that she left the city and moved to Dehradun. After she left i always keep thinking about her, about all chit-chats. Sometimes i think i must say something to her, or sometime i laugh all on these. but today it all still reside in my memory.
I think she was my first love, I searched her on all social networking sites, but not found her till today, hopefully i found her sometime later. I want to meet her and continue my friendship from where she left me quietly.

A night in train

I was going to meet my family by train. I saw a lady in train. Lady was very beautiful, she was with her husband and two children. Lady was searching something, she was searching beneath birth and everywhere in boogie. I asked her, "May I help you". Lady smiled only. I asked again. Lady said, she is searching her earing. Now my turn to smile, so i smiled and move to my berth. Lady's smile has killed me. Lady was sleeping adjacent to my birth. i was looking at her very carefully, that no one come to know. I was looking at her face, light was dim but enough to fall in love with her. I was not thinking about anything else her. Then i realize that i should take few steps, so i came to know about her. She had not found her earing, so i decide that if i find that then i could talk her. I came down and start searching. once i feel that she looked at me while i was searching. I didn't found that so moved to berth. When this time i saw her she was looking at me.

She told - Are you thief.

I replied - no (surprised).

she : speak slowly..

Me: ok. I am not thief, i was just searching there something.

She: my ear-rings

Me: no, actually i was ...

She: I know, but why?

Me: "bas aise hi"

She: "koi to wajah hogi". do you want to flirt with me.

Me: (surprised) no, just thinking to talk to you, so i assume that may be a way.

She: Oh!, Do you like me.

Me: Sorry...

She: Yes, i asked- Do you like me.

Me: Why are you asking so.

She: You don't want to reply.

Me: (thinking what to say..) Yes, i am.

She: Will you marry me.

Me: (totally surprised... i was looking all around. I thought that she is trying to trap me, so i decide to reply safely. i was silent...)

She: hello, are you awaking.

Me: Yes i am. (she was awesome, but some fear inside me forcing me to control my emotions...) Do you know me?

She: first you reply, Will you marry me.

Me: no

She: Why?

Me: because, i don't love you. i only like you. It doesn't mean that i marry you. and you are already married and you have two children as well.

She: (laughing........)

Me: What happened.

She: Hey Ajay.. You are still stupid as you was before.

Me: (i surprised to listen my name. then i tried to recognize her. She was sweta.) Sweta..., you are Sweta.

She: Yes, i am.

Me: how you recognize me?

She: It's not a big deal, so now do you want to answer me.

Me: (i loved her since my college days, after that i have no other girlfriend. i had listened that she is doing job somewhere and still not married. so i asked about these children).

She: He is my jiju and they are my sister's children.

Me: (i think bout her marriage proposal and said) In respect to your question, I do.

She: What question. i don't think i asked any question to you.

Me: Hello, you did, okay. so My turn. Do you Love me?

She: (smiling..) Good night, kal ghar chalo fir baat karte hai...

smiles all around

(and i starts dreaming all again my past, present and future...)

Other of me

Tired of being ignored all time. Why she didn’t understand me. She loves someone, who do not deserve her, he is not better than me in any manner. Why she don’t like me and why to him. She don’t know how to react and she has some childish nature. She should understand that I  would make her happy more than anyone else. So why she don’t love me.

All these are lines after losing his love(unrequited) by Devesh. Devesh starts thinking that I am loser or something related to that, the only two main priority he has, his love and he himself. Now Devesh all times try to be according to her taste. He himself perceive about her, he mind all her movements even about those who are not mentioned ever by herself. Devesh tried to adopt her type language, her type attitude. Devesh just tried to be perfect for her.

One day he saw her with someone else(other than the person to whom she loved initially), he get angry and tried to do all quickly. Same day he went to her and asked that she ever liked him. After a bit of thinking she replied no. Devesh feels he has lost everything,  but he have to show that he is mature one, so he decided to show as he was previously. But the important thing was that he was changed and he was not aware of it. He now started to feel little awkward but he keep managing all.

Few years after he get some desired success and then he again searched her and came to know that she is now a widow. Devesh think that now he can get her. He try to provide her some sympathy and financial support. She was not aware of all these. She have thought that now its high time of that and until now Devesh must have forgot he in that image. One day she came to know his desire as Devesh proposed her. She has again no other option to say no to him. Devesh asked her many questions and make her angry. Devesh got some sort of ego in this time he was not ready to lose anything and at least same again.

Devesh try to hold her hand to make feel his presence and he thought that a girl need that her man should have in command. But she jumped off the fifth floor right way the time and died. Now Devesh  has only to say :”I am finished”. He also jumped off from same floor.

My views: The ratio of success and attempts is very poor. Very few percent are successful in their love life. People don’t understand the love of their chosen one, but they think whatever they do that will benefited for their ones. They all create virtual reality and when their virtuality is not accepted by true reality, they feel uncomfortable and do some awkward and make the things worse either for self or their ones whom they say they love.Please think it as just another relation.

Other side

There was something, which needs some definitions. Something used to create a tune, which feels by whole locality. Everyday people listen that tune, but everyone thinks someone among them is playing that music. Months have been passed but the tune didn’t get any recognition. Now tune becomes hard and now everyone just want to stop that. So each just tried to know the one who is playing the tune. Everyone was surprised as none among them was playing tune. Now most of them horrified with that, some think about some paranormal activity. One day a boy died, all claimed the tune as reason of death. Tune was thinking that until I was soft none replied me but everyone enjoy me. Now I am creating  some problem for them, and they are making me responsible of all bad outings. Tune leave that place and went some other place.

Tune perform same set of operation and find same results. It move to many different locations and keep searching who can recognize it, but found no one. At last tune thought to visit again and do same. Tune reached to same place again and start with slow tune. Now this time even with slow tune everyone terrified and start doing worship and many more. Tune get afraid this time and move to next place. Tune do this to all places and found almost same type of result. Now tune get angered with itself, tune has tried two times in all type of places but still unrecognized.

Now tune decide to use its power to destroy all. But before destroying Tune get an idea of first experiencing everyone the real pleasure, the real beauty. Tune reached the place and fill the environment with lovely tunes, whole environment filled with variety of good things. The environment get rich with greenery, calmness, and prosperity. Some divine look was of that. Everyone thanked God and start worship God. Now tune feel some complexion but it tried same few other places as well but not all places as because it was time taking process. Still tune didn’t get any recognition. Now tune decided to ruin everything what it has created and to everyone who has enjoyed that.

Tune reached that place again and start destroying that, very soon everything get destroyed. After destruction tune feels like it has get its revenge. Tune thought as something was missing it was still not happy, something missing. Tune found that revenge was never its motive, and still it didn’t get recognition. Tune get embraced with itself and whatever it did, now it can’t recover anything but to stop such things in near future it thought to destroy its power, so it tried to destroy itself. But still for that it need recognition and now it knows how to get recognition. It reached to a child who feels tune and love it, tune handover itself to him and as boy start to go school. Its importance get reduced and one day destroyed by child as it become old and useless for him 

Pumping Beats

Its noon, How one can dare to think to come out in such hot conditions. Yes but it is very useful time for those who need some silence, Silence with horror. Some dreams try to float in mind, some memories try to touch the reality. Many many issues all around us and sometimes we find ourselves in such stage from where we need to define the success, we need to define ourselves. The work which we have done asks us the reason. The art of performing activities without knowing the exact reason of doing that is known as life. Then we say Life is what life is. Almost everything which screams us or excites are the things which are without reason. Reason itself needs some reason. When all dilemma of events and its occurrences surprises us, we named it Life. Sometime Life is beautiful, sometime horrible, sometime pitiful. Really now I forced to say how wonderful is life as life itself not know the reason of what it is .

Enjoy dreams and live your own life as you can. One day, day itself ask you the reason why I am not same everyday. Live until you don’t find your reason because after reason there is no reason to search another reason.

Chilling Echoes

The day before 30 years:

Reeta, A corporate woman, her husband was Shopkeeper. He has a mobile and laptop showrooms. Before three months they both were in a shopping mall and there Reeta went to Rajat showroom, Reeta  purchased a mobile. Reeta attracted to Rajat. She called Rajat and asked about mobile. With in next few days she went many times with her friends to Rajat shop. Rajat also like her and One day Rajat called her and asked for Date. Reeta was impressed that he dared to call her for date, She agreed and after two months they get married. Now One month have been passed and they have enjoyed this one month too much. They were in Manali for Honeymoon. They reached here Delhi today. They are living apart from their family. There family is living in village, they belongs to rich background.

Today:

They both were well educated and matured one also so as usual in their relationships also there were many ups and downs but they carried their life and relationship successfully as today they have four children. Two boys and two girls: Saksham (27), Ranjeet(25), Neha(21), Deepsikha(18). Saksham is doing job in PSU and earning good money, He don't like his parents too much, her girlfriend Sakshi is a nice girl and she has completed her MBBS degree and now searching for MS from some renowned institute. Sakshi has applied in many colleges. They have planned to marry after MS of Sakshi, they have planned for their life. Sakshi belongs to some ethical family, so she never allowed Saksham to be close her. She understand the values of her family and expectation what her family expect from her. She told her family about Saksham as a good friend.

Neha is of very affluent in nature. Anyone who talks her fall in love with her. She is very good student and studying B.Tech 3rd year. She loves her classmate Nikhil. Nikhil also likes her. They both have agreed to marry and frequently they make love. They both are committed to each-other.

Ranjeet is a serious boy and he seems very matured and keep himself away from mob and everything. He is introvert and has no friends. Deepsikha is youngest in all so everyone in family love her most. She is favorite of everyone.

(Days passing .....)

Sakshi got admission in Delhi, and happy to get good college. Neha's boyfriend Nikhil failed in 3rd year while Neha topped her batch. Nikhil now feared that Neha will leave her and so he make himself frustrated. Now Nikhil called Neha daily to meet in some secret place and daily told her to make love. Neha initially do same as she don't want to hurt Nikhil by saying no. After few days she started to told him herself busy in some family work. Nikhil now called her many times and always talk her in anger. One day Neha meet her and make him understand that they will now meet on weekends only. Nikhil agreed, but he keep calling her 4-5 times in day and always told her to meet somewhere. Neha now feels frustrated with him, but she don't want to ruin her relationship. She just decide to keep calm no overreact and also decided to be away from Nikhil to get time to understand relationship. She told Nikhil that until marriage she would meet him only at public places. Nikhil took all this in different manner and thinks that Neha wants to get rid of him so she is doing all this. Nikhil created rumors in college about her that he had sex with her many times, She has such relationship with many others as well. Everyone in college look her like a flesh of meat. Her brothers also came to know about such rumors. Neha asked Nikhil about all this, but he said why i told this to anyone. Ranjeet and Saksham asked Neha about all this. Neha agreed that she had relation with only one boy Nikhil. Ranjeet decided that she will pick and drop her college daily and they will arrange her marriage just after study with their choice. Ranjeet also try to frighten Nikhil. Nikhil got angry. and at the end of odd semester he followed Ranjeet car and hit him badly with cricket bat and on the spot Ranjeet died. Nikhil was not trying to kill him, but he had now killed him. Things become worsen for him but somehow he managed to escape and Ranjeet murder closed in lack of evidence. Now Nikhil behave very politely, he met Neha and agreed to do according her. Neha was too happy, because she found her man as she wanted.

(After two years....)

Nikhil pass the college and have got in NTPC. Neha also got job in NTPC. Both got same job and after that they married with family permissions. Sakshi also completed her college and start practicing in hospital. Saksham didn't like her parents but after death of Ranjeet he decided not to leave his parents. He also married to Sakshi with family permissions and started happy life.

One day Deepsikha was crossing road and an uncontrolled truck rolled over her. Deepsikha died on the spot. Due to this lose Rajat died and Reeta also took bed. Now the family was suffering with too much problem. After two weeks Reeta also died. Now the happy family reduced to few members. No reason what so ever anyone have. Nikhil has started this death sequence, he felt too much guilty and one day he confess in front of police and killed himself at same time. Neha come to his father's house , here Sakshi commented Neha that she killed her brother to marry Nikhil. Saksham was confused by this all happenings. The entire family has been almost finished. Saksham told Neha to quit job and stay at home. Sakshi behavior was very bad with Neha, but Neha understand the situation but kept herself calm. She continued job and one day company asked her to go abroad for few months as official outing. Neha went USA and get almost disconnected with his brother, Saksham. They talk weekly or monthly but both says only "everything is fine". Although Neha was trying to come out of whatever she has faced. There she met three Indian guys, they were very good in nature. Neha become good friend of her. Neha spent her 6 months with them. Here Sakshi got an very good opportunity, so she flied to LONDON for two year internship under a very renowned Doctor. Saksham was living there alone for three months.

Saksham recalls his past when he was just of five years, when he get serious injury, his parents didn't took food for almost five days. His brother Ranjeet always obeyed him. Neha and Deepsikha were the world's best sisters. Sakshi loves him too much. Then why is he so alone. Saksham found himself in such position from where he can view and imagine everything, but he had missed to live what he could. He was just spectator of his own story. He decided to make over the situations. Neha also came back to INDIA. Neha and Saksham decide to make over the things. Saksham thought about Neha marriage, he decided to grow his family by that way only they all can be rejuvenate in their real life. Saksham purposefully jumped from roof and get injured. Sakshi have to came back. Saksham told to Sakshi that when he got injured that was Neha who left her job there and come here to take care me. Sakshi got impressed with Neha and Sakshi also left her job and planned to open a private medical clinic. Everything was managing in right way. After few months Sakshi came to know about her pregnancy. She gave birth twine baby and family forgets its past and start living with new reasons. They have got few more eyes to dream.

One day Neha met a guy(Tarun) who fall in love with her at very first meet. He was new to company and have to work with her. Tarun was also very affluent in nature, so Neha also liked her but she didn't want to accept that. Neha was living her life with those babies. Tarun within week proposed and told that he knows her past as he wants to know. He has no interest in her past and just wants to be part of her new life. Tarun talked to Saksham and he accepted. Neha go for date few times and after that she also agreed and they married.

Everything in family was settled down and everyone get reasons for their life.

Strings - all around

Seema was very upset when she didn't got admission in IIT. Her few friends joined IIT and few joined others. Seema was sure to go for IIT, it's now matter of dignity. She was a bright student, so she got permission from her family for one more year for preparation. She joined the same coaching again and now started again.

In that coaching Tarun, who was also a bright student but not qualified for IIT. Tarun approached Seema and discussed about each other feelings regarding IIT preparations. Tarun has very few friends and so he now become good friend of Seema. The other guys of coaching didn't like it. One day they beat him outside the coaching, and warned him to be away from Seema. Next day, Tarun detailed all this to Seema and also the coaching authority. Coaching authority changed other boys coaching shift. Now those boys once again beat him, now he again told to everyone, but this time Tarun wants some hard actions against them, but coaching authorities didn't do that. Since then Seema and Tarun walks to home together as their home was on walking distance from coaching.

One day Seema father injured in an accident badly. The huge amount of money expends in nursing. Her father was not able to go on job for more than 12 months as suggested by doctors. so financial conditions of family become worsen. Seema had decided to quit coaching and keep studying at home. Due to poor condition of family she somehow managed to submit JEE form. she has only one option - to clear JEE.

She was at JEE exam center, she meet Tarun there and his seat was next to her. when she got paper, she found it difficult. Their parents image and situation float in her mind. She started paper and finished. On the day of declaration of result she rushed to cyber-cafe. She was not qualified. She was in no situation to show her emotions. she was totally confused about her next step. She has no idea, her mind was blank. but somehow she managed to keep calm and agreed to join B.Sc. classes. She joined university and starts living normally until she found her new dreams. After three years she graduated in B.Sc.. Their parents have thought about her marriage. After that she met with many boys and their family. Some rejects her while some rejected by her family. Now she start looking for job. She find a teaching job in a private school. Atul, director of school was directing school as good education for everyone, poor students study without fees. So everyone respects Atul. Atul came to know about Seema and then he meet her to know about her dreams. Whatever Seema told Atul, Atul fall in love with her. Atul was 28 while Seema was just 20. So Atul was not comfortable to express himself to her. But he starts too much caring about her, that force Seema to feel something extra form Atul. Seema knows that Atul likes her, and her respect also converted in to love. Now Seema spends some time with Atul in staff room. Atul also feels that Seema might also like him, so one day he proposed her, Seema right way accepted and ask him to meet her parents. Atul meet to Seema's parents, they like Atul and agreed to marry. Very soon marriage date is also fixed and after six months their marriage date is decided. Now Atul usually come to Seema home twice or thrice in week. Seema continue the job and she become principal of school. Seema now found her new dream-set and starts dreaming about happy married life.

On the day of their marriage they married and starts new life. Now Seema came close to him and also came to know many personal talents and habits of Atul. She likes everything of Atul. After a month Seema told Atul that she wants to go to meet her parents. Atul told some reasons and told not to go this time, he will also go with her after the work. Few months passed and Atul was too busy and he also told her to stay with him. Seema wanted to meet with her parents. Atul knows that so he asked her parents to come here for few days. Atul thought that he is caring all feelings of Seema, but actually Seema was not feeling good. She was not showing her all wishes to her husband, thats make feel her not good. Her happy married dreams were not like this. she starts feeling alone. Now when Atul make love with her or buy some jewelry or go for party with her. Nothing feels love to Seema. In between that they angry with each other on some issues. Seema now find herself as pet animal of Atul. She leave the Atul house and went to her parents. She was confused what to do, she again keep her mind calm and starts live alone with her parents. Atul had started new schools in other cities, so he get busy, and he didn't got time to patch up his relation, and Seema was waiting for him to come and resolve all issues. Atul call him many times but never come to home due to lack of time. This creates a relationship distance and that’s make them apart from each other. Both feels other should initiate and in between that they said other person wrong as other one left the relation. This creates the distance and in between Seema met with Tarun and know to surprised that he still not married because he loves her. Seema tried to make him understand about situation and starts talking with him. They start talking with each-other on all issues. One day Tarun proposed her for marriage. Seema refused straight way. Now Seema told about Tarun to Atul. Atul thought that she want divorce, so he told her that he would not divorced her. Seema was happy that still Atul loves him, Seema went to meet Atul and Atul was too delighted about this. Now both understand that no one is perfect in this world and to continue our relation in well manner we should talk face to face to avoid misunderstanding. Tarun as comes suddenly in her life leaves in same manner as well.

Now they both understand their life and relation, so they lived happily whole life.

caring moments...

Tarannum was very happy because someone has proposed her that day. This is the second time when someone has proposed her. When first time Sameer proposed her, she was well aware of his nature as he used to propose each girl, so that time she get some help from her friends. This time Sourav has proposed her. Sourav is good looking boy and also good in studies. Tarannum is also good in studies and also good looking. They study in 12^th standard in same college. Tarannum didn’t tell her friends about Sourav proposal. There were many good boys, Tarannum was expecting from many others too. She likes Pawan. Pawan belongs to rich family.His father is IAS officer. Pawan has already many girl friends, everyone knows. Almost all girls wants to be girl friend of Pawan. Next day Sourav asked from Tarannum about his proposal, she replied- I didn’t think yet, I need time. This day Robin also proposed her. Tarannum have choices but she was waiting for someone else proposal. 
Now since the day everyday Tarannum do lot of makeup to impress Pawan. One day Pawan noticed and she asked her for coffee. She was just waiting for that and so she went for coffee with him. There Tarannum proposed him, as Pawan nature he accepts and asked for Dinner Party at his home. She hesitate but agreed to come. So she reached party alone without any her friend and telling that she is going to friend’s home for studying. There was a grand party in occasion of Pawan’s younger brother birthday. That night Tarannum was looking stunning. At party Pawan introduced her with his friends and brother. As that was long party so she have to stay till morning there. After party Tarannum stay in guest house. As Tarannum was planning to sleep, Pawan ringed her phone, and asked that he wants to meet her in lawn. Tarannum ready to meet in open lawn. Tarannum reached there and Pawan as well. Pawan has drunk rum, Tarannum wanted to leave as she get frightened little bit. They were talking and walking in lawn, slowly-slowly  Pawan was approaching to get close to Tarannum, he was stumbling too. Tarannum just hold him and helped him to sit on a bench. Pawan asked her to go in her room, she didn't answered, If she refuses that meant she has no belief on him and also she had proposed him, and if she accepts then even she don’t know the meaning of it. She didn’t replied but Pawan makes his way to her room. Tarannum also reached in her room thinking what is going on. She closed the door and all window due to fear that if anybody saw her with a boy. She was too much confused, but she asked Pawan to sleep on bed. Pawan slept with in half hour and then she get some relaxed and thought that she was expecting wrong, making light herself with commenting herself. As in guest room there was not big space, but the bed was for two persons. She was feeling sleepy and slept on other side of bed at edge. At night 4 o’clock Pawan waked up and went to take some water. With some movement Tarannum also woke up. Now Pawan thanked her for not misunderstanding him and asked to leave room right now. Tarannum said that it’s late night, so he can sleep here. Pawan replied- I will but you will also sleep comfortably. She said okay and the Pawan lye on bed, Tarannum also lied on bed other side, there was dim light. As they have proposed each other so they have some intimacy for each other and they starts talking about each other. Slowly-slowly they come close to each other to listen each other comfortably. Their legs touched few times and that creates some scene. Tarannum has no experience of such situations, so she was thinking a lot about happenings, but she gets some confident as till now Pawan has not tried to flirt with her. Some good thoughts attacks her mind and in between she find herself in arms of Pawan. Pawan was now very close to her, Tarannum breathe was very high and she was also excited about her first experience. In between pawan put her finger on her lips and she didn’t react. This make the scene and each barrier between them broke by them. Tarannum was pleased with all and felling herself in heaven. This was 5:30 of morning. Now some light has started coming from sky, As understanding the time, Pawan leave the room and left Tarannum with night's memories.

Now Tarannum was thinking about all what happened. She have experienced her first love making scene and now what’s next. Now she was thinking about all possible scenarios (About family…, about friends…, about …, If anyone know about this, If she get pregnant…, etc…). She left the room early 6’o clock. She reached her home and told parents that she come with her mother, who used to go daily for morning walk. Her parents don’t asked any other question. Now she was feeling that she is guilty and cheated her parents. But she determined to ask Pawan for marriage.

She reached college, but Pawan was not come today, she ringed him and asked why not to come college. Pawan replied – he has some work, so he will come tomorrow. In college she was feeling some metal pressure so she took leave and went to home. Next day she met with Pawan and asked her about marriage. Pawan was not expecting about marriage, he told that due to that incident you are asking for marriage. I didn’t forced you to do that, you shall asked me that time. He refused to marry her and told that if she wants sex, then she welcome otherwise no other relation he needs with her. Pawan leave and left Tarannum crying.

Now what Tarannum will do and what more she have to face. She will forget all these or will stick with these . what she should do and what she did…

                                                                                                                    Contd…

Unrequited Love

A middle class happy family (Rajeev(21), Rohit(19), Dipti(18), Rashmi(16) and their parents) of six members. Rajeev is doing Job in his local residence city, while other three are student. They have two motorbikes. They have thought to purchase four wheeler. Like a dream they managed to purchase “Tata Nano”.  They were driving car in their locality, suddenly a group of children come in front of car. Rohit was driving and he didn’t managed to stop car and six children get injured. Thank God no death.

Now the FIR against them and parents of injured parents are demanding for payment of medical charges. They threatened them to move court. So it was better to managed all with locality, because that was their local area, they have to live with them. So they agreed to pay all medical and other relevant charges. After agreement they have to pay nearly four lakh Rupees.

Rohit was studying in B.Tech first year. His family took loan, sold the car and pay four Lakh rupees. So now each family member get angry with Rohit and he feels a discrimination in behavior from each one. His girl friend Ankita supports him. Ankita and Rohit are friends since last few months. Rohit likes Ankita. After this tragedy Rohit get too much tensed and always look for Ankita. These days he feels depression from his family and his attraction level increased too much for Ankita as she understands him. Rohit thoughts that Ankita loves her, but still Rohit don’t know, What she think. Rohit ignored his family and keep thinking all time about Ankita. Now Ankita is only living cause of him. He reached in second year of course and similarly third year. Only the love he feels for Ankita get stronger in his heart with time. Now he wants to propose her but he has not enough power to say her. Thinking how and when propose he reached in final year of course. He still not in situation to propose her, but one favor he finds that she asked him for final year project. Rohit finds his way, he worked hard and completed his project till February. Now everyone was impressed with Rohit performance. One day on Sunday Rohit and Ankita both were alone for testing of project in project lab. Only office guys were there, so Rohit plans to propose her the same day. Rohit was feeling too much pressure and time was passing, Ankita feels that Rohit is not feeling well, so she asked her, Rohit was not telling her anything, but Ankita keeps asking and finally in between Rohit gets some dare and told her- “I love you”. Ankita was not surprised and she told she knew that you like me. Now Rohit gets too much energy and asked about her personal one. Ankita told she already love someone (who belongs to his local residence) and they have planned to marry within few years.Both family have been agreed.Rohit face get paled and he feels himself very depressed as his reason of life has been finished. His mind was thinking too much without sensing anything. He was in no-state fully blank. No expression only a dead body. Ankita said you should asked me earlier, then you will not feel such pain and now you know everything so it better to understand yourself and please don’t do anything that hurt you and your family. Ankita leaves…

Rohit pale faced hurts too much by his self understanding. His unrequited love makes him alone and without reasons. Whatever he thinks, he finds her. He has created a dream-world around him, in which he was with her in each of his future plans. What a situation for Rohit. What should his next step. What he should do and what he did………

                                                                                                                Contd…

Same Old Story

College campus, graduation phase of life. Rahul likes her colleague and obsessed to marry her. As they both are in final year and both have got job somewhere in same location. Rahul takes initiative and proposed her, initially Rithika ignored her, but after six month someone else also proposed her. Now the time she realized and thought about these and now she attract to Rahul. They both obsessed with each-other. Making love was first time such experience for both. They were both satisfied with each-other. They joined same company and used to live live-in-relationship. During training period in company(Software MNC) they enjoyed too much their life and relationship. They were actually made for each-other. Both understand each other very well. Nearly one year have been passed and Rithika’s parents have searched out a boy in their locality and called Rithika to meet that boy. Rithika was surprised and shocked as well, what she should do? A big question mark was there. Anyhow she reached her home and told her parents that she love someone. Initially there was some normal Indian cultural problems but as they were self-dependent their parents agreed and the marriage ritual finally took place.

On very first night Rahul asked Rithika- “I am your first love ..”. Rithika replied- “Yes, you are… but why are you asking  today, here”.  The single question ruined their first official love making night. They start behaving like they know nothing about each-other. Now situation has changed. During their live-in relationship they share office works and about friends and their gossips. Both were enjoying each-other and showing full faith in each-other, because they used to live together all time. Now they are married couple, now they have responsibility to grow their family and fulfill the expectations of parents. After marriage there was a short party in office for all, there both were smiling and looking happy. Someone(a girl colleague : How was your first night, how do you make it different from rest of your past one year relationship) has passed some comment and some little light mood jokes. Both have then shown busy themselves in office. At night in home, Rahul asked Rithika- “What you answered of that girl’s question. You have surely told her everything, you girls…”. Rithika shouts on Rahul. Now again the boring scene starts. Day after day they start quarreling each-other. Very few occasions they find themselves comfortable, when they are far from home or with friends, their love-making is now reduced to countable numbers in months. Sometime to reduce anger they do that without knowing partner will. Now they started ignoring each-others thoughts.  After one year they both started thinking for divorce. They were educated, so they put their thought in front of their parents. Rithika’s parents didn’t allowed her to take divorce. As this was love marriage, she has no authority to pressurize her parents. She drop the idea of divorce and just continue to live with Rahul, but Rahul is now fully determined to divorce with her. Now a very undefined situation for even such modern girl. Now the family importance is major factor in taking decisions. Now the situation have been changed, their life is now suffering. What the next is a very big and huge question in front of them. Rahul wants divorce and his family supports him. Now the hell situation for Rithika. Due to this depression Rithika office works effected badly and Rithika’s Boss warned her in office for doing poor work. She is now facing real tough situations 24x7. In office, employees and boss everyone annoyed her, while in home his love partner (life partner) also annoyed her.

Now she has to take decision. She has not too much options. Everything seems against her. She has only one primary question: “What is end of this ... and when…”.

                                                                                                                    Contd…

Quit! No choice

Already I have discussed about suicide and self-termination in detail. People generally don’t want to think more about these. Lets take some scenario.

Scene 1:  Location: A running track
There were many competitors who was running to win. There were huge gathering of spectators, everyone was there to enjoy the time and to watch some good running. As the race starts, within few moments a runner suffers due to hamstring, he was unable to run now, so what should he do.
Quit : A intelligent move because he can also run next time, so no need to hamper himself more.
so he must go for same sort of thing, but he didn’t he just tried to walk slowly and very slowly on track. The official of match tries him to leave as till then the original race was over, so here nobody is watching over him. Every spectator has enjoyed for that they paid as tickets. But instead of all these he keeps walking and finally finished the race. Any guess when he finished the race, was there any spectator. Yes there were all and all were standing and cheering for him to complete the race-track. Everyone who has paid for only fun, now feels something that makes them to continue their stay at stadium, No one went outside, everyone was watching him and his determination to complete the race. Why they were doing so, why they were cheering for the person who finished last.

There was reason, there was something that is more than reason. If that person leave the race at very moment when he starts suffering due to hamstring, nobody cares. But although as he finished last, he matters for everyone who were feeling his presence. So whenever you are in pain, try to do your best, If you leave the situation, you would not get next chance to make feel your presence, even to yourself.

Scene 2: Location: Medical Polyclinic
There was a 25 year lady discussing with lady doctor about her pregnancy. Lady has just married 2 years earlier, she had already a  baby, and now again she was pregnant. She was with doctor to convince her for abortion, she had given proper reason to doctor that she don’t want this baby right now so doctor should help her for abortion(doctor was not ready for killing the womb one). Doctor told the lady: Why not you kill yourself your baby. I have a way, you can do that easily. Lady asked with curiosity.  Doctor said that “why not you kill the baby who is in your arms, as you will kill that baby you would get few more months to enjoy your personal life, and killing is killing, either you kill this or that, both are your, so why don’t you do it yourself.” Lady was speechless, she has nothing to say, Doctor was feeling that she had done his job. Lady silently moves out from clinic, saying Thanks to doctor.

What would be lady next move. To go next clinic as she has option and reason. Reason is that she wanted to look after her baby(who is in her arms) and provide him more facility to grow better. But somebody have forced her to feel something, to do something. To take decision.

In life many times we face some situations where we have dilemma about choices available. We try to prefer most silent and easy option. Some chooses QUIT and quit itself from that. But the really the scene is clear. Should the lady in second scenario Quit as she want to kill her child. Situation which you leave thinking “now its over“ forces some other persons as well to opt any choice, now they also choose their ones, but they really feel that “he/she should not choose that way”. For them life seems like a question paper, where you have a lot of questions and you haven’t answers, so In the fear of being failed, they feel too much pressure and they lost their sense and they just try to write anything irrespective of question and their choices. In between if anyhow they tries to understand any question they might get confused among questions and choices. Actually they get little confused they mistakenly choose another question and think that question as choice of current problem.

Moral: Never merge situations if you don’t have solutions. Just keep calm and try to do your best not thinking about success or failure, because Quit is a question not choice and you have to choose among available choice, don’t choose question as already you have yours.

Errors... Ooops!

Hi,

This time I am writing for few mistakes, that become errors.

1. Parents dreamed to live their dream with their children, sometimes if their child is capable on their dreams standard, they love their child, but if their child is not such capable, child have to face a distanced relationship.
2. A teenage boy have been restricted too much by family rules.
3. A teenage girl get total freedom, to choose her life’s way. At this age the girl need more support from her family. If she don’t find there, she search from others. When there are too changes in life, one need its past to support one.
4. A teenage girl fallen in love and made commitment irrespective of considering her family values.
5. Pre-marital relationship between teenagers creates a enforced binding of relation. So at very early stage of life they have to behave like mature ones, If anyone fails to do that, life suffers.
6. Some family biased decision about marriage, sometimes ruins few lives. As these decisions are taken at younger age, so the reactions of such decisions have more energy than mind, so sometimes creates havoc in many lives.
7. After marriage both must have proper understanding of general issues. They should discuss about their approach towards life, both must synchronize the feelings in proper way to reduce any clash  of emotions.

Now the basic scene is captured and now if you agree with any of these, above all are easy to manage. These shall not supposed as questions, these are answers, so get ready with your answers, who cares for questions.

If you have problems, turned them in to questions. If you have answers turned them in to solutions.

Have a nice life ahead.

Life: recovery

I was thinking, Why this happened to me. Its all my mistakes. I found my answer, “no”, its not all my mistake, Yes its my perception over some person’s activity was wrong. So it’s a wrong one of my believes.

Nothing is permanent in this world then why I prayed for something. Actually I was not aware of prayer and wishes. Now I know that actually I wished for that. And it is supremacy law that “Prayers are accepted and wishes are resigned” .

Now situations are somewhat under control. There is control over feeling, actually healing of emotions is under way.

1. When you are feeling too much emotionally hurt. Please never go for decision making.
2. Leave the things for which your emotions don’t matter. Means don’t involve in any such activity which makes you feel bad.
3. If you are physically hampering yourself due to too much flow of emotions, just cry and cry loudly. You will feel relaxed.
4. Please never share your bad situation to any new friend or group. And if you can control yourself, just content to yourself.
5. Old Good friends can be helpful, but new group may just force you to take some unusual actions, so just content to yourself, because at last (after this period over) you have to find out what you have done.
6. Never hurt anyone even to whom (you think) hurts you, It will provide you a positive energy, which will help you in making decisions in these bad days. Because when you are in depression, there are too much negative energy around you, which force you to behave abnormally.

I have discussed yesterday about the constant of universe. So here we can consider sub-constant i.e. time. So as you will carry on with above restrictions, you will found you way, and will feel good that Although you have been hurt, but actually you haven’t hurt any one that much. So you will feel positive and that will help to gear up for life.

Whatever I have written doesn’t mean that a person must be serious about things all time. If you can manage just do it, otherwise do whatever you want to do. But then others will make way for you, and then you have only way to choose that way. So whenever you take decisions, just think about all little bit.

Enjoy you way. and never think about "termination of Life".

Best of Luck to you all.